I mean- not exactly- I will turn 53 in 2 months , so actually it’s 52.10 and writing in my diary- on a daily basis.
For my peace of mind, that’s what for.
It started out as an innocent journal of daily sleep+ workouts+ spendings , and after a few days became my go-to when upset or stressed.
Or in need of somewhere to “scream” foul words of various kinds.
Not proud of it- but it happens, judge if you want, I don’t care. when I get upset I am not a pleasant person- and that is the understatement of the universe- and better the diary take my choice of curses than actual people.
You would think that age would calm me down or something.
Well, it didn’t , nor being an early retiree.
I already told you, that in my opinion- if you have unresolved issues with yourself (or with anyone else close to you for that matter), retiring will not magically take care of that.
Sure-one major stressor won’t be there anymore-but you- and your thoughts- kind of tend to stick around even when you say “so long suckers!” at your farewell party.
So I deal with it.
Nothing else to do.
I find that exercising, listening to music. cleaning. cooking and gardening help, a lot, but from time to time- the noise, the dirt, the fact that things aren’t done the way I want them – it adds up.
And when they do- I write everything in my diary.
not only the bad language, also what got me upset, the root of the problem as I see it.
The mere act of sitting down to write calms me down, taking everything out on paper makes it even more bearable, and by the time I finish writing -I can many times call it a day.
But many times not- and that’s OK too.
The thing is- I like to look back at my entries and reflect on what upset me a month, 6 months, or a year ago, and try to learn from it.
Learn that many times what seems like the end of the world, is actually not that horrible in retrospect, learn that I still have a problem with X or Y, soit must be time to address it properly, since it’s not taking care of itself, evidently, and generally reflect on my wellbeing through the years.
Some people may have an extraordinary memory and see clearly things that happened to them a few years ago, I ‘m not one of those.
On the contrary. many times I delete unnecessary information from my memory-or store it in the subconscious- if you ask Freud, and when I want to reflect- it becomes tricky -since I can’t recall the nuances.
But as I told you- I write every day, half a page only- (I read somewhere that Herman Melville, when writing “Moby Dick” wrote only a page a day, but kept writing- even if he had nothing to write-sort of a mind exercise).
As soon as I wake up I write how many hours of sleep I got, and describe the overall quality of my sleep, if I had notable dreams – I write then down too, then I write what kind of exercise I did, and the quality of it , what I did that day (otherwise I might thing I am a total lazy disgrace) , then I write how much money I spent- if I spent any- I do have a bank app, and I use it frequently-but writing down the expense and the reason behind it helps get things in order-and helps me become more accountable.
Many times I find myself writing self encouragement phrases , or tacky Hallmark quotes -they seem to cheer me up- even if it happens because I laugh at myself for writing them down.
I think by now you can probably see that I have this illusion that putting things in order will keep my world from falling apart .
By the way- many times it does, so don’t be too quick to dismiss this, plus- What can be more fun than writing about yourselves?
*disclaimer: I am not a certified anything, not a dietitian, not a therapist, nor intend to give any valid legal advice. do your own research on anything anyone tells you-my own advice included.consult with whoever you need-want to before embarking on any new dietary journey. this is your health we are discussing, nothing more important than that.
Summer is here, and my body (and soul, yes) are reacting .
Oh- and to top that- every year around my veganiversary- (july 2013 saw Gary Yourofsky’s film, and BAM) I get these strange cravings for pizza and such , and just to be clear here-I do not mean vegan pizza with substitute mozzarella, but the real deal that tastes real and happens to be made from real cow’s milk.
So this year I decided I need to “go back to basics” so to speak, and restart my body on the vegan journey from a slightly different point of view: the raw version.
I have never tried the raw version since I believe legumes -as in beans and lentils- are the foundation of every good protein in our world, and a day does not go by without at least 1 serving of some sort of legume in at least one of my meals.
So? so no way you can eat these red beans sans cooking in boiling water for at least an hour- meaning cooking in above 118 Fahrenheit- meaning no way it is considered raw.
And what about soups, and stews? and tofu, and a lot of other staples I use daily, which I can’t think of right now and might not exist at all, but in the form of fear of change?
You can all see why summer was the best choice of time for me to try out raw veganism, since no need for soups and stews, and the fruit variety is simply amazing, so 10 days ago I decided to give it a go.
I made a point of not reading on-line anything before -so I don’t invent changes in my body I read about somewhere and my mind decided it must have happened to me too: to this I can only recall the funniest book ever written- in my opinion- “3 men in a boat” by Jerome k. Jerome.
The 3 go on the journey after sitting one evening, smoking and discussing various illnesses they suppose they suffer from (any kind of illness they ever read or hear of- including womb spasms and such) when they finally conclude they all suffer from an acute case of “overworking”.
*If- by any chance- you haven’t read it- this is a total must, it is hilarious, although written in the 19th century, english dry humor at its glory.
So here is my report on the super important subject of trying out raw veganism -pros & cons:
*1: what did I eat??
I actually ate quite well.
Not only the variety of summer fruit- melons, watermelons, nectarines, grapes, what not-
But also a lot of treats I didn’t implement into my diet before- who knows why:
Chia pudding with home-made date spread , grapes and nectarines, and raw almonds too.
Wow- this is something.
very filling, super nutritious : 2 tbsp of chia, soaked in about 0.6 cup of water overnight in the fridge, I added some soy milk and the date spread (1 tbsp )in the morning before going out for my run, when I came back- it was solid again-then added the fruit.
The nutritional value? checked it: 2 tbsp of chia give you 10 grams of fiber, 5 grams of protein, omega 3, magnesium and other minerals- all for 138 calories, now add the fruit(depending on your choice) and the date spread ( made of approximately 2 medjool dates) (1 gram of protein and 3 grams of fiber) and some soy milk- you have a very powerful breakfast/snack .
By the way- the date spread is the easiest thing ever- soak pitted medjool dates in warm water for a few hours, then mash the whole thing in a handblender (with the soaking water! )- keeps in freezer, and the best thing is that it doesn’t freeze completely- it stays in a spreadable consistency- so you can make ahead and take out as much as you need- struggle free!
*I also enjoyed sprouted lentils in my salads- a great way to add a lot of fresh raw healthy protein -plus they are actually yummy!
In summer- sprouting takes only 24 hours, (lentils -haven’t tried sprouting beans), and what can be more fun than watching new life germinate from your colander?
Another great addition to my salads were seaweed. highly nutritious +interesting flavor!I didn’t buy anything special- took a clean pair of kitchen scissors, and cut sushi nori seaweed sold quite cheaply here.
*Another great thing I used is raw vegan protein powder I got on iHerb.
* I enclosed a picture just for full detail purpose, I have no shares or other interests in the company or in iHerb. buy whatever. or don’t- that’s fine too.
Used half a scoop -a full scoop is wayyyy too sweet for my taste, plus- really no need to go overboard with these in my opinion.
So -to sum this subject up- I was not hungry- and this is an understatement.
#2: energy levels?general feeling?
Since I was eating properly -no problems with training.
but- and that is a major problem to be considered before going raw –
my stomach had a really hard time adjusting to a diet relying only on raw fiber full ingredients .
It acted up, I was bloated and everything that goes along with that, and to say that it wasn’t fun is understating.
I am aware that any dietary change is something that needs a period of body adjustment, and I can say that as the days rolled, the bloating lessened, but- beware and don’t be surprised of it happens to you.
Fiber is great for the body, but even a long time vegan like me, evidently needs to adjust to the raw method.
*3:weight loss? glowing skin? any other miracles?
As to weight loss- since I ate a good amount of calories from the abundance of fruit and veggies and nuts and tahini and peanut butter and all that- I saw little to no change (I don’t weigh myself ;I see no need -I feel when I get heavier -my running becomes different ).
as to glowing skin- this one actually did happen-
I was looking in the mirror at the pool showers a few days ago, and thought to myself- “wow- my skin looks good! what happened?”-when I got home I figured out the only change was my diet- and then I read that people do swear that this is one of the benefits of going raw. I have to say it sounds a bit strange to me that it took only a week for the glowing effect- but since this is the only change I made- this is the only logical conclusion I could make.
Other than the supposed skin glow- no miracles.(yet?)
#4: Surprising facts I learned:
Turns out I wasn’t 100% raw, since I used 1/3 cup of soy milk- and soy milk is heated while processed , so there you go.
Oh- and my 1 cup of black coffee first thing in the morning? also a no no.
But- on the bright side- the sites I (conveniently) read stated that to be called honorably raw you only need to consume 75% of your diet from raw ingredients, and as far as I see it- I exceeded those 75% by far.
So I get to keep my headline and this post. no fear.
So since starting, I read that some doctors believe that raw vegan can be done only for short periods of time, since the beans and legumes are a thing in their opinion too, but others say its fine to go on for years.
Here is a link to an article I read addressing the pros and cons of going raw vegan.
Oh come on, I know not getting stressed to begin with is the best way to handle stress. it’s just not happening for me.
What does work- and like a charm too- is stress cleaning.
Whenever I go down that rabbit hole of stressful thoughts or beurocratic mess I need to handle, I feel an urge to do something. as in something active. let’s face it- I feel an urge to get as close as I can to the fridge.
I am aware this is not the smartest move on earth, so if I’m conscious, I grab a broom and start sweeping.
I have to admit I like cleaning.
I know many people don’t, what can I say- its healthy, free, environmental, frugal and the end result is a clean space , what’s not to like?
A few weeks ago, two of my long time friends came to visit, and one of them joked that her mother and I were so much alike- we both can’t deal with people visiting and have to “do something” while everyone is talking.
I immediately liked her mother.
I feel awkward in any kind of social gathering, even if the participants are two of my good friends, I have no idea why, I’d rather talk to them on the phone- although now that I think about it- the social part of the conversation- where they chat about work and men and stuff like that- is hard for me to relate just the same, the only difference is that when we talk on the phone- I can continue doing things while I listen to them, until they get tired of the chit chat and get to what’s really bothering them, then I sit down and listen whole-heartedly and try to help -if I can.
You might wonder why I continue to be friends with people I can’t sit with and enjoy the conversation , well the answer is that I have 4 friends, 3 go more than 20 years with me, and the fourth about 8, and we had each other’s backs in sickness and in health, in marriages and divorces, in the joy- and anxiety of bringing children into this mess of a world, and I already understand that there is no such thing as a “perfect relationship”.
Not with partners, not with family , and not with friends.
So I do my best to avoid social gatherings, and when there is no way to avoid the situation- immediately afterwards- I stress clean.
Benefit #1: obviously: clean and tidy space!
No need to elaborate on this one, but- I want to emphasize the #1 trick I learned through the years and saves me a lot of time and effort- and I mean a lot(!):
The less stuff (knick-knacks) you have lying around everywhere- the less time you spend cleaning.
And please don’t use the cowardly method I used- meaning stuffing everything in my drawers and cupboards and closets- basically wherever is hidden from the eye-only to have the closet’s content collapse on me as soon as I dare open it.
*Not to mention no way I could find anything I needed, each search party took 3-4 weeks to find wrapping paper or what not.
Deciding what gets recycled and what fortunate piece of stuff gets to stay at your house is definitely nothing to joke about.
Mary Kondo made a career based on our difficulty to let go of stuff, and rightfully so.
If you love being surrounded by your stuff- that’s great- just remember cleaning will be much more difficult .
Benefit #2: instead of stress eating- you get your body moving and your heart pumping.
Obviously- again -always better to get your body moving instead of only working your right arm to open and close the fridge.
Also- whenever I stress eat- it’s the first sweet carb I see lying around- no time for smart food choices or anything of the sort. which is a continuous pity, since Everything is definitely connected.
Benefit #3: AKA-The psychological effect:
Stress gets your adrenaline going. that’s our bodies’ way of dealing with what it considers as danger.
Adrenaline means the urge to do something.
For me- this means -either getting up and going to the fridge, or grabbing a cleaning cloth /broom.
The best option would of course be to sit and meditate through this, but I found out that my body just can’t sit through a stressful situation. the physiological urge is to move.
Now- since I am already stressed- why add future remorse(thus more stress) by devouring the fridge like there is no tomorrow? because often times- tomorrow does come, and the implications of stress eating tag along as well. I find it hard to sleep well, my workout is compromised, hence- even more stress- and catch 22 right in front of me.
On the other hand-
Stress cleaning has the exact opposite effect-
I find that tidying and cleaning helps me get my thoughts in order, as well as my house, thus alleviating the current stressful situation- and helping you create a comfortable space for you to rest and contemplate the best course of action to be taken to deal with the stress and allowing for some relaxed sleep knowing your to do list has one less thing on it.
I already told you a long time ago, that come spring, I brace myself and start showering with cold water.
Now- hold the clapping-
summers are H O T where I live, spring is almost non existent -sadly- and we do have solar panels on our roof, meaning from april-november we don’t use the electric water boiler.
The water faucet takes a minute to adjust itself- though turned all the way to the “hot” side, meaning for the first minute or so- you either waste precious water-or deal with cold water splashing right at you.
I am only half brave- maybe when I grow up I’ll be braver, and start showering at the instant water come out of the faucet all year round– but for the time being- I only do it from april-november.
3 questions come to mind:
1.Why do it in the first place???
2.How do I brace myself?
3.And why should this interest you?
#1: why do I shower in cold water?
Why not wait a minute and shower comfortably with soothing hot water??
Because I can’t stand waisting water- I collect rain water to water my garden, even AC water (my partner and son use the AC frequently so he installed an extention that allowes the AC drip to water some plants. (at least that).
But aside from my aversion towards water waist-
I believe that Seneca was right:
Here is a link to a very understandable explanation of the philosophy behing taking cold showers:
I truly believe that avoiding hardships in life is the best way to achieve misery, because as I grow older (and wiser?) I understand that life holds all kinds of experiences for us- pleasant -and unpleasant .
There is no way to avoid the unpleasant situations in life- be it grief, sadness, health problems , children or spouse issues, self pity and economic issues.
Yes- you can -and should- do your best to manage your life in such a way that will minimise the impact of these hardships:
*You can lead a healthy life style- eat properly, rest well, avoid self destructing habits and exercise regularly.
*You can save at least 1/3 of your income every month -starting at young age- and invest the money after researching all your options in depth.
*You can try to relax and do things you enjoy that have an extra benefit of mind expanding -as opposed to brain numbing activities.
* You can be organised and efficient- thus minimising stressful situations and increasing the chances of successful results.
*You can try to workout a fair solution comcerning differences in opinion with your spouse-children- boss- in due time -not in the middle of a quarrel, when the chances of resolving the issue are slim to nothing, and not the day after-when many times a minor issue becomes enormous- but in advance- if you realise that something you want/are about to do might be problematic or un-acceptable with the other side-talk it over before it becomes a real issue and deteriorates into a quarrel.
All these are great-
But, Tom Hanks has taught us that:”life is like a box of chocolates, younever know what you’re gonna get”, so you need to be prepared for all that you cannot prepare for.
(Note to self- watch “Forrest Gump” again).( another note to self: watched it again.some things are better left as a sweet memory).
And how, you may wonder, do you prepare for what you cannot prepare for?
You become a stoic.
You embrace and prepare for the worst outcome possible, and get accustomed to the possibility it will occur.
You become familiar with your reaction towards that worst case scenario.
you breathe deeply.
Then take another deep breath.
You understand that even if- you can make it.
You can and you will go through it.
Then you go have a cold shower, remembering to breathe deeply as soon as the cold water splashes you.
#2. How do I brace myself? as I just said- I breathe deeply . and just do it. like jumping to the pool. no use in putting toe after toe and lingering and shouting and make a big deal out of everything.
I actually can’t stand the fact that in 99% of movies showing teenagers jumping to the pool-beach, the boys jump right in, and the girls shout and refuse and run away until one of those menly men grabs them and throws them into the water.
I must admit I haven’t seen a movie in a long time -hopefully things have changed and now the girls are throwing the boys in.
#3. Why should my cold shower ritual interest you?
I think it’s safe to assume you knew that already. didn’t you?
So I was thinking about the quality of my workouts lately, and decided I should share my insights, since I have a lot of free time to think about all kinds of stuff working people don’t have the time to stop and wonder about.
I know this because only since I retired I got around to wonder about all kinds of important stuff- such as people throwing trash out their car windows , why ants love toothpaste, and the benefots of flax seeds.
I know. the world should be grateful I retired .
I thought that many times people get on with theirlives and forget that the way they eat and rest the day before– determines the day after.
It’s 05:00 AM .(that’s late, by the way, just saying)
You get out of bed, wash your face, have a cup of black coffee, strap your running shoes and get out the door, with every intention to get a good run going.
But- about a mile in- you realize you have no energy. you are practically falling asleep while running -(happened to me while swimming I think I slept through. it was actually kind of fun).
You keep going -because that Fitbit is gnawing at your wrist-but to no avail.
This run isn’t going anywhere.
You return home defeated.
Since you are already up and going, you get your choes -work done, yet this feeling of restlessness doesn’t let go, so you find yourself checking if the fridge is shutting its light when the door closes.
It takes about 5 times until you realize this scientific research you are conducting results in something going out of the fridge -and into your mouth every time you conduct one of your “lab tests”.
(by the way, I believe the answer is yes, the fridge light shuts off when you close the door).
All this eating leaves feeling even more restless, you have to watch some tv/Netflix.
You get so engaged in that proposterous show you pass your scheduled bedtime (20:00??21:00??)
You finally go to sleep, but toss and turn due to the fourth test you cunducted concerning the fridge light, the one that involved 2 oatmeal -chocolate chip cookies and vegan yugurt with banana and wallnuts. and date syrup. and almonds.
You get up in the morning at 05:00- even more tired than yesterday.
So- point made.
Everything is connected.
You wnat to invest in your wellbeing?
Reading wellness books isn’t enough.
Neither is subscribing to a gym, or buying new running shoes -though it’s a nice start I admitt.
The first thing to remember- in my my opinion- is that since everything is connected- then if you want to get a good workout tomorrow-you need to :
eat well , relax and go to sleep early theday before.
Peope usually remember to eat and relax after working out -but the day before is just as important- maybe even a tad more.
While I’m on the subject- since I am a big (huge) believer in perseverence, I happen to think treating your body right is an ongoing mission- and should be your default.
I am aware this advice probably won’t be appreciated by young people who have the urge tp [arty- well because they can- they are after all young- and I say fine- party on- just remember that if you want toimprove your workouts and take them to the next level- it begins the night before.
Well, I’m here to say that after almost 53 years on this planet, many times its best not to look too closely.
“Why is that?” you might ask.
“Who cares?” you might think.
It is my belief that you should care- and that is because this tip is about to save you a respectable amount of possible heartache in the future.
I am well aware that for some people , belonging to generation zzz (my middle son being the best example -at least one of the top in my opinion)-the future is not really a thing- its a tale- made up by old people, that are scared of becoming useless , thus scaring young people by gory tales of “the future”.
In any case-
Should you hear me out on this one, it might ease your relationship with yourself and -or- others, a bit.
Since I believe wholeheartedly there is nothing better than a good example to make a point, here I am, holding 3 (!!) excellent examples to prove that sometimes its best to keep a safe distance from things: not get too involved , not be in the “inner circle” not go near where the big things happen.
Great example #1:
Wait until you look in the mirror.
Getting an up-close look at your (makeup free- if you use any make up) face , especially if you happen to own one of those magnifying mirrors, can really damage your over-all sense of well being.
Even if you are an avid potions and lotions user, get Botox shots and whatever- still- after a certain while on this planet, the skin gets blemishes, and pores, and wrinkles, and “fine lines” and pigmentations and what not-it is certainly not as perfect looking as it looks when passing briefly by the mirror- or looking from afar-most definitely if you are a makeup wearer.
Great example #2:
Jolly flower beds.
Looks great, right?
Same flower bed- only closer. much closer.
I am sure this happened to you- you go on a car trip. you see a lovely green meadow.
You think-“this is like an 19th century painting! Claude Monet in Giverny!! “
“Lets get a selfie so everybody acknowledges that I am alive and happy and will be tremendously jealous!”
You stop the car, and as you get closer to the green bed of soft grass, you find out the patches of dry grass-thorns-flies-etc.
You take the picture anyway, knowing that from afar- the thorns and flies and patches will disappear, leaving everyone at awe .
Great example #3:
I am most definitely NOT an expert on anything- let alone relationships,couples therapy or men- for that matter.
I can only share my point of view, hoping it might make sense to any of you, seeing as we do live in quite a hectic world, and maintaining a solid reltionship became rocket science-so it seems.
The thing is-in my opinion-
From afar- (far in Instagram land)-couples look so happy !
They smile- all the time-and hold hands-constantly hug and kiss and what not, and go to fancy vacations, where they rub each others backs while chatting happily with their toddlers about Chopin’s relationship with George Sand.(I agree it is an interesting subject).
Occasionally they write-in retrospect -about a “difficult time” they experienced “a while back” -just so they’ll seem realistic and people will react with the necessary :”oh! I hope everything is better now!”.
The only reason to believe those Instagram photos, Is if you believe what you see in Hollywood movies.
Just to be clear-I am not talking about abusive relationships of any kind, but about your ordinary “after 14 years of living together” couple.
I don’t envy long time couples I see holding hands, because I know it doesn’t necessarily mean they can’t keep their hands off each other , rather- many times it is habit/fear/anxiety -although there are exceptions to the rule, I guess.
Only now, at the (ripe) age of almost 53, I get it.
I get that if you follow that loving couple back from a party, you just might see them sulking in the car, and shouting their lungs out when they finally get home.
I get that if you follow that elderly couple back home from the store, you might hear the sounds of silence and minimal communication-at best- mostly regarding food and household necessities.
I get that if you follow that Instagram family on that dream vacation -and get closer to the shade they are sitting under, you might hear the children shouting and begging for something or other, and you might see one parent getting all worked up, while the other one is sleeping off the second tequila he-she just had.
Your relationship isn’t like that?
You’ve been with your partner for more than 14 years and you still love them as you did in day 1?never quarrel? never think evil things about them?
Well- does one of you work in a job that keeps him-her away most of the time?
Either that- or you are a true unicorn.
One of the rare world wonders.
The other options aren’t really pleasant-
You are either oblivious to what is going on in your partner’s mind, or in denial of what’s happening in your own, or you -or your partner- made a conscious decision that the world surrounding us is so intimidating, that you must make a pact to stick together no matter what- “us against the world” kind of situation.
Because-as opposed to Hollywood movies- after 14 years together, if you look closely- you’ll see the truth. and the truth is that people tend to get the point.
They get used to the situation, it bears no novelty, no excitement, and no sense of chase.
Don’t get all worked up here-
I am not saying couples should split as soon as the clock ticks 14 years. (though some definitely should).
Quite the contrary.
I believe there is much to say in favor of true friendship and love that has conquered its worst enemy- time.
In my opinion- it really doesn’t matter if you quarrel with your partner, think his mother is cruella de ville, get upset when driving with him , can’t get a simple project done together without blaming each other- whatever-
If you still respect your partner, laugh (genuinely) from his-her jokes, think he-she looks good, and smells good (even when not wearing perfume, just simple soap), and you feel you can share your most vulnerable secrets with him-her+you feel there is true value to his-her input on things –
In my vocabulary- this is love.
Even if no diamonds are in the sky, no fancy Hawaii vacations are planned, you quarrel occasionally and you don’t go to the store holding hands, in fact you don’t go to the store at all, because you buy everything on-line.
Again- the only caveat is any kind of abuse– that is unforgivable –and no amount of rubies -pearls-vacations or tennis bracelets can make up for that.
The same idea applies to the 2 examples above:
If you feel the urge to look closely at your bare skin, that’s fine.
Just don’t expect it to be flawless.
Because time can do serious external damage- to your skin, to flower beds, and to relationships.
It means things will look different, and perhapes even be different as time goes by-
And you have 2 choices –
You can either accept that life is built from constant changes, and disappointments, and failures, and that’s OK, because there are many moments of happiness-
Or you can refuse to succumb to that- and keep looking for that perfect new untouched thing-whatever it may be-
new look, new house, new job, new partner, in hope that starting fresh will keep you away from fading out, from becoming obvious, becoming irrelevant-from dying.
I’ve been thinking a lot about life, (early retirement, etc), and what a mature person such as I can pass on as a wise old lady’s sayings.
relatively old. in my opinion, I am very young and immature, but my kids seem to think I passed my expiration date, so.
I think the most important thing I can tell my kids is :
No matter what- keep going. keep showing up.
*Don’t give up because whatever you are doing is boring.
(I think because of people’s super short attention span these days, almost everything bores them after 15 minutes- or less.).
*Don’t give up a promising job position just because in the first couple of years your salary embarrasses you:
many great jobs start off with minimal wages and after a short while +proving your abilities- your salary should reflect your abilities, and slowly but surely- provided you are doing a good job- you will see your income increase and your position secured.
I’ve seen people job hop around me, and I can tell you I didn’t see it did them any good -in the long term that is: in the short term-sure- some made a lot of $$$, but those dream jobs didn’t last long, and the hopping gets more difficult as the years go by.
*I am aware of how outdated I sound, but this is my opinion, and I already told you I am a certified uncool nerd, so I don’t give a dang.
If your goal is finding your dream job which will serve as your true calling, your meaningful destination, what fate has cooked especially for you- well then, keep looking. maybe there is something like that hiding somewhere -probably near unicorn avenue and fairytale street.
If- on the other hand- your goal is to find a good enough job, that will allow you to save enough money for early retirement while feeling that your skills are used in an acceptable way and your work environment is amicable- then if you happen to find something like that- look for the long run when haggling your salary. because energetically and emotionally- job-hopping- in my personal opinion as a class A introvert- isn’t the best use of your time.
Again- if you happen to love interviews and long periods of being out of work (“in-between jobs”)- fine. do that. but if these situations flare up your anxiety-try to avoid them.
*Don’t give up just because you fucked up.
I cannot recount the (many) times I fucked up.
In all sorts of things- no need to name names now.
I kept telling myself that the only people that don’t fuck up are those who refrain from doing anything. and that- in my opinion- is the worst fuck upof them all.
The only thing that helped get me back on track after fucking up, was owning the failure.
I mean fully admitting it, not hiding behind anyone or anything.
Can’t say it was fun- the possible shame, the possible humiliation, the ego getting hurt- not fun.
But- once you let the failure see sunlight- I can guarantee you it shrinks!
So keep showing up even when you fail. if you keep working hard and try to learn from your mistakes- the chances are that you won’t make the same mistake again. you’ll make a different one.
*Don’t give up just because the task looks too hard.
If you are in the mood for a happy sunshine and flowers post-
Well this ain’t the post for you.
I decided its high time I say it-
Some people say things that are simply annoying-and I’m not talking about the obviously atrocious racist chauvinistic things that are to be condemned in every way and forum-
I’m talking about the much much “lighter” stuff. many times percieved as “harmless”-
At the end of a long day–
You really do not want to hear this babble going on , and -if you are anything like me- you immediately worry about young impressionable people, that can be seriously misled by following any of this.
So-what got on my nerves?
#1: “Oh don’t worry-everything will be alright!”
#1. How do you know that???
#2. If you do happen to know that -for a fact- as in a 100% full proof fact- then why not elaborate on how exactly things will emerge from the total mess they seem to be in -into being “all right”. no need to hold the information, should you happen to have it.
#3.Does the person saying this annoying phrase have any intention of trying to actually help you get out of the situation causing the distress? in my personal experience- 99.99999% of the times- people using this phrase have no idea whether or not things will be alright, and don’t actually care, they most definitely have no intention of actually getting involved in the mess, and just say this to make the person next to them feel better. or make themselves feel better for not helping out.to that I can only say- yay to he-she who can be consoled by an empty phrase distributed by someone who has no intention of doing anything positive or productive to actually try and get things better.
And why is this innocent phrase such a big deal? because there are 2 options:
1- the person hearing this is gullible enough to believe that “everything will be alright!” – well-just because– meaning there is no need to take action, get the mess sorted out , go fight for your rights- right the wrong that was done- depending on the situation.
There is no need to do anything, actually-if you believe the person that has just told you that “everything will be alright!”.
This-in my opinion- where this becomes alarming.
Because many times we get stressed over things we cannot do anything about, but- many times we actually can and should take action, and we don’t need lame advice , but someone to take the time and effort to find a way to take the proper actions to set things straight.
option 2- the person hearing the phrase is not gullible at all- and all you do is upset him-her even more- because now he-she knows darn well who he has for friends.
I think it’s safe to say- 100% failure.
#2: “Oh me? I eat anything I want , as much as I want. YOLO people!”(said by a thin person, either genetically thin or hiding an eating disorder or other dubious methods of suppressing appetite).
Now this- is truly annoying.
I find it hard to believe that people can actually eat whatever -and how much they want- ( including a lot of certified junk food) – not train like maniacs, and get away with it. maybe when you are really young-but once you reach 30- in my experience- you cannot manage your money and your diet as if there’s no tomorrow- and expect to be just fine- come that “tomorrow”.
In my experience- if you don’t manage what you put in the bank-and in your body- you will see the results sure enough- because- as I’ve learned -there are no miracles. only hard work. monotonous, tiring, hard work.
In my experience- the most important achievements you’ll earn, will be the result of tedious boring continuous work, rather than exciting 50 minutes of “being in the zone and on it !”
Saving only when a big raise comes your way, or your lottery ticket happens to win , or a distant never really knew him-her relative passes away and leaves you his-her estate- well then- I do hope you realize this is just another form of creative procrastination.
The same goes for eating everything in your kitchen.
I’ve done it- some days are just not the best,
So I try to get back on track and see what went wrong.
What instigated this act of self sabotage, and how can I manage things differently the next time.
I definitely don’t go encouraging other people to act on their every craving -all the time- because as a general rule of thumb-
There’s this stigma running around for thousands of years, tying between salads and dieting women.
“oh me? I’ll have the salad!” (then most movies-books- TV series depict said woman looking sadly at her plate and -if given the opportunity- helping herself to her companion’s plate.)
We all understand the “subtle ” subtext:
Salad is not real food, it’s not sustainable, and even not very tasty.
In short- salads are self inflicted punishment sad women bring on themselves in order to fit to society’s restrictions.
I have 3 things to say:
#1. Don’t believe everything you see in the movies.
#2. Salads can be your basic go-to , endless options to choose from, satiating, healthy, nutritious, tasty and beautiful!!
#3. please remember that sometimes- in certain places- ordering salads in restaurants or coffee places, means you don’t know exactly what the ingredients are, when the vegetables were sliced, and mainly -the added dressing- can be a source of unwanted fats and extra calories.
So making your own salad is just about the easiest thing in the kitchen, all you need to do is wash -cut- assemble.
The options- as I said- are endless, anything and everything goes:
vegetables- naturally, but also- herbs, greens, fruits (think green or red apples, strawberries, apricots, oranges, even cut lemons -peel off), think grains (cooked quinoa, buckwheat, oatmeal grains, wheat grains and so on), think nuts (almonds, walnuts, pecans), think cooked legumes (beans, lentils), and dressings?
*lately I’ve been using a great shortcut- I put 2 carrots and 1 apple in my hand mixer, and shred the lot- to use for my lunch salads later. carrots are a great addition to salads- adding tons of vitamins, taste and color-but cutting them finely can make a person need to nap afterwards, so -chop in the hand mixer in a split second and get it finished.
As for the dressing: squeezed lemons , raw tahini, salt &ground pepper, olive oil, (or everything combined?).
Here are a few photos I took of my everyday salads: