Lately, I’ve been experiencing a wave of impatience towards everyone. and everything.
Personally, I tend to blame Covid -19, though let’s face it- I don’t go out much anyway and have a zero tendency to get close to people.
Maybe it’s the age issue- I tend to blame everything bad I do on my age:”what can I say- that’s the way it is when you reach 52.5!”
If, by any chance- you have no idea what this means- because you’re too young or too male-then this is a reference to hormonal instability that in professional terms is called “the change”.
Now that- if you ask me- is quite a scary name, for something that really should come as no surprise to any woman, yet, apparently, it does. that includes me, to be clear.
All of a sudden gravity is becoming the most powerful force controlling your physique- and although you might try to fight it ( working out like a maniac, botox, hyaluronic acid, retinoids, derma rolling and other tortures we expose ourselves to)-can’t fight it forever.
The thing is- gravity would be fine- if it weren’t for those mood changes!
This “change” is known to be adolescence all over again- mood swings and everything.
Anyway- this is a good excuse, especially since this “change” can last for up to ten (10!) years- I intend to keep using it until my partner discovers that the internet says there is a period of “male change” too and decides to act on it.
Back to topic-
(although I do have some things to say about botox and derma rolling)-
My recent intolerance for everything is actually not that recent.
I can hear someone talk for a short while- but if he/she doesn’t get to the point after 3 minutes- what’s the point in all of that?
I know this is rude, and not zen (at all!) but I can fight my inner impatience fiercely- for up to 3 minutes only. sorry.
Any longer than that- I lose that battle and run for the entrance before the evil force that won the fight takes over the conversation.
Lately, there’s been some change in this atrocious behavior- due to a new mindset I adopted.
I decided that in the spirit of zen- I can learn something from everything.
What this means is- that even if I watch a (very) boring lecture on Zoom, about something or other ( french painting -for example) and get annoyed watching the lecturer read from slides in a monotonous voice ( people who read from slides should be banned from lecturing- in my humble opinion. I am well aware that not everyone is a gifted public speaker- but who said everyone should speak in public? if you are intimidated by the crowd- write a blog, write an essay, podcast, maybe a YouTube channel- if sitting at home in front of the camera doesn’t scare the sh%$ out of you. there are so many ways to avoid lecturing- because- the bottom line is- if you can’t overcome your fears and give a boring slide reading lecture- what will you gain? self-confidence? (0%)acknowledgment in your field of expertise?(0%) appreciation of listeners? (0%)headache and a desperate need for a drink? (100%). on the other hand- I discovered that people really like to laugh and engage in a lecture- meaning- that if you are less skilled in your area of expertise- but you are witty and funny, and give people real-life examples they can relate to on a personal level- you win. you can really give mediocre lectures with little to no preparation- but look them in the eyes and smile and tell funny little anecdotes- they will stand in line to shake your hand later).
Again -off-topic- what can I do? it’s “the change”-
So while a few weeks ago I would press the “leave meeting” button, now I breathe deeply and give the lecture another chance.
Because I decided I can learn something from everything.
So in the end one of 3 options happens :
#1. the lecture takes a surprising turn , the speaker starts talking about a topic dear to his-her heart, and the spark is there- in his-her eyes, in his-her voice, in the way the lecture is going. it is interesting now!
Glad I gave that a chance.
#2. nothing changes in the lecturers’ tone-but the pictures in the slides are beautiful! I learn about a french painter called Berthe Morisot-here is a link to an article about her- worth the reading- it wasn’t easy being a woman painter in Paris mind you: https://mymodernmet.com/berthe-morisot-biography/
Good thing I gave the lecture a chance- I learned about Berthe.
#3. nothing changes+ no interesting slides:
I conclude that I ended up learning something important today- never take another course with that lecturer again!
Enjoy- the cooliflower.