Lately, I’ve been experiencing a wave of impatience towards everyone. and everything.

Personally, I tend to blame Covid -19, though let’s face it- I don’t go out much anyway and have a zero tendency to get close to people.

Maybe it’s the age issue- I tend to blame everything bad I do on my age:”what can I say- that’s the way it is when you reach 52.5!”

If, by any chance- you have no idea what this means- because you’re too young or too male-then this is a reference to hormonal instability that in professional terms is called “the change”.

Now that- if you ask me- is quite a scary name, for something that really should come as no surprise to any woman, yet, apparently, it does. that includes me, to be clear.

All of a sudden gravity is becoming the most powerful force controlling your physique- and although you might try to fight it ( working out like a maniac, botox, hyaluronic acid, retinoids, derma rolling and other tortures we expose ourselves to)-can’t fight it forever.

The thing is- gravity would be fine- if it weren’t for those mood changes!

This “change” is known to be adolescence all over again- mood swings and everything.

Anyway- this is a good excuse, especially since this “change” can last for up to ten (10!) years- I intend to keep using it until my partner discovers that the internet says there is a period of “male change” too and decides to act on it.

Back to topic-

(although I do have some things to say about botox and derma rolling)-

My recent intolerance for everything is actually not that recent.

I can hear someone talk for a short while- but if he/she doesn’t get to the point after 3 minutes- what’s the point in all of that?

I know this is rude, and not zen (at all!) but I can fight my inner impatience fiercely- for up to 3 minutes only. sorry.

Any longer than that- I lose that battle and run for the entrance before the evil force that won the fight takes over the conversation.

But!

Lately, there’s been some change in this atrocious behavior- due to a new mindset I adopted.

I decided that in the spirit of zen- I can learn something from everything.

What this means is- that even if I watch a (very) boring lecture on Zoom, about something or other ( french painting -for example) and get annoyed watching the lecturer read from slides in a monotonous voice ( people who read from slides should be banned from lecturing- in my humble opinion. I am well aware that not everyone is a gifted public speaker- but who said everyone should speak in public? if you are intimidated by the crowd- write a blog, write an essay, podcast, maybe a YouTube channel- if sitting at home in front of the camera doesn’t scare the sh%$ out of you. there are so many ways to avoid lecturing- because- the bottom line is- if you can’t overcome your fears and give a boring slide reading lecture- what will you gain? self-confidence? (0%)acknowledgment in your field of expertise?(0%) appreciation of listeners? (0%)headache and a desperate need for a drink? (100%). on the other hand- I discovered that people really like to laugh and engage in a lecture- meaning- that if you are less skilled in your area of expertise- but you are witty and funny, and give people real-life examples they can relate to on a personal level- you win. you can really give mediocre lectures with little to no preparation- but look them in the eyes and smile and tell funny little anecdotes- they will stand in line to shake your hand later).

Again -off-topic- what can I do? it’s “the change”-

So while a few weeks ago I would press the “leave meeting” button, now I breathe deeply and give the lecture another chance.

Because I decided I can learn something from everything.

So?

So in the end one of 3 options happens :

#1. the lecture takes a surprising turn , the speaker starts talking about a topic dear to his-her heart, and the spark is there- in his-her eyes, in his-her voice, in the way the lecture is going. it is interesting now!

Glad I gave that a chance.

#2. nothing changes in the lecturers’ tone-but the pictures in the slides are beautiful! I learn about a french painter called Berthe Morisot-here is a link to an article about her- worth the reading- it wasn’t easy being a woman painter in Paris mind you: https://mymodernmet.com/berthe-morisot-biography/

Good thing I gave the lecture a chance- I learned about Berthe.

#3. nothing changes+ no interesting slides:

I conclude that I ended up learning something important today- never take another course with that lecturer again!

Enjoy- the cooliflower.

Published by wiseassvegan

an organized full time working vegan -with plenty of ideas on getting everything done in the most simple and efficient way possible.

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2 Comments

  1. I remember giving my last lecture on inequality and waste. It was as scary as the first, it always is, but that props (scrumpled up pieces of paper and an assortment of soft toys) helped get my juices flowing. There was no slides. However, I did have a few little prompt cards on hand if I flustered and some of the audience included people I knew, which helped my confidence. Same with the times I’ve danced to an audience. It always helps to know at least someone in the audience, but perhaps if there is real scared passion for a subject, not so important, you’d just do it, shout it, implore the reasoning. Therefore, I can understand some protestors. 😱 😨 🤬

    Liked by 1 person

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