So, I read an article, written by a psychology professor (no less) that claims women loath frugal men, and list them as non- attractive partners.
Being a proud frugal +a true believer in seperate accounts as a base line for equality and feminism, I was surprised.
To be absolutely honest- the first thing a skeptic like me thought was: “naaaaaaaaaaaa, no way”. I have this automatic urge to check everything I read or hear, unless it comes from a v e r y reliable source.
Actually- I double-check (secretly) even then.
Because, well, even reliable sources can simply be wrong.
And this claim- that women unanimously detest a specific trait -so much so that they rate it before other horrid features, for example- being a misogynist, being a self revolving egomaniac, bad body odor, being unhygienic in general, a total slob and owning a controlling mother -all-in my humble opinion valid reasons to be reluctant about a second date-
No- according to this professor- women are sure money pinching is the worst.
A few possibilities open here-
#1: This professor did a mess of data collecting, leading to an honest mistake.
#2: This professor can’t manage his money, and rejects the fact other men can, hence is compulsed to prove his lack of competence is “charming” -and anyway- “women loath frugals so there”.
#3: (related to #1) The questions asked in this research were in the lines of:”who would you rather date:Brad Pitt or a random frugal penny-pinching guy? (to be specific, I mean Brad Pitt in his “fight club “days-wow that was an epic movie , if you haven’t watched it- just go do it. Edward Norton is one of my favorites and Brad Pitt does not fall behind. I am saying all this although “first rule of fight club is you do not talk about fight club”).
All this was completely off topic. or maybe it wasn’t.
#4: Maybe women do think that a frugal man is non-datable. maybe women think men are supposed to “provide for them”, “take care of them”, “give them money to go to the beauty salon”( I am not making these up- I searched the topic online and found a women’s magazine -and a well known one too- that warned women of calculated men who don’t “give them money to do their hair”(!!!!!!)).
If I understand this line of thinking- then If you are a man, then you need to “step up to your manly duties”, automatically pick the check and not hope for splitting it, buy extravagant jewelry and take women you date to a different restaurant every night (yep- men who insist on cooking and staying in were also shamed in said article) -this behavior will convince your princess that you are a trusted worthy reliable person she can live with for the rest of your lives.
#5: maybe I am totally wrong– and frugality -in men only- is a sign of lack of emotional generosity and support, therefore a frugal man will most likely be a bad idea for a partner.
But that -in my opinion- lacks logic+ might , in the long run, undermine every feminist accomplishment since the right to vote.
Being dependent on a man to support or pamper you, seeing romantic gestures as money related only, expecting to be presented with constant gifts, and not saving for the future-
Wow- in my experience- the only place relationships like that exist is romantic books and movies.
I truly believe in personal monetary independence as a basis for a respecting equal partnership, jewelry is beautiful but investing in your future is just as beautiful, and open frank conversations and sharing important moments- is more valuable- in my opinion- than a visit to any beauty salon.
Love to hear what you think- the cooliflower.