So, my 23-year-old son is here for a few days, since he had to re-do one of his sat tests.
He is so different from me, I actually believe there is a chance he was switched at the hospital.
On the other hand, he resembles his father so much, I just have to accept that my genes lost the race big time, when it comes to him.
By the way- with the other two, I definitely came in 1st.
This has nothing to do with how much I love him, by the way, because strangely I feel I love all my 3 kids the same, and I say strangely-because I don’t believe love can be rationalized, and it seems totally logical to me that some parents love some of their kids more than the others.
It does, however, affect my ability to communicate with him.
Where, with his siblings, I can understand their way of thinking, relate to their actions, and give advice- when asked for- and many too many times- whether or not asked for- with my middle one, he rarely asks for advice, and when he gets any advice from me- I can never tell whether or not it would even be considered as a possibility.
Where I am a class A introvert, would have won a gold medal if they only thought of making being an introvert an Olympic event: he is a total extrovert- since childhood, he was surrounded by friends, always popular, always out of the house with his friends, always doing what everybody else was doing, including being very conscious of his clothes and haircut.
I, on the other hand, go around in my workout apparel, cut (actually shave) my own hair to an extremely short cut ( 0.5 centimeters close to a total shave), wear no makeup, and generally have no need for idle conversations and having people bother me at home.
where he believes there is no need to excel in school -or for that matter- in anything other than his online FIFA games, I was a total nerd at high school, was considered a devoted employee (until work got the best of me and I decided to retire), and have 3 university degrees -the last one finished summa cumme Lauda, admittedly due to hard work, not brilliance.
I think the only thing we share is our blue eyes, and love for animals.
The other day, he had his exam, the one he was studying for the past months, and will determine whether or not he will be admitted to uni.
The exam was scheduled at 13:00, and he was out with his friends until 01:00 , and set his alarm to 11 (!!).
I was astounded.
How can he sleep calmly until 11 on the day of his exam? I would have been up all night worried, got out of bed at 04:00, and re-read my notes or something else to calm my nerves- and he is sound asleep.
I do believe he is the poster boy for being cool.
I believe you understand where, on the other hand, I am located on the cool scale- not sure I would make the scale at all, come to think of it.
When he finally woke up. I made him coffee and a smoothy (and a homemade chocolate chip cookie), and asked if he had a water bottle -after all the exam should take a few hours, and mind you it is summer here, and a pretty hot one too.
To no one’s surprise, he hadn’t even thought of the concept of taking a water bottle to the exam, and said that if I had one he would gladly take it.
I have a plastic bottle (+ a heat keeping case) I use for occasions I know 1.5 liters of water will be needed:
-usually, I use my beloved reusable bottle:
I filled the large bottle with icy water and handed it to him, but was disrupted by the shocked look on his face.
“Seriously??” he exclaimed.
“???” I answered.
“you really think I am going anywhere with this thing??” he asked.
“well….yes?” I answered. “it’s important you have water during the test, sometimes the stress dries your mouth and the inconvenience might ….”
“Yea’ I know, but not going with this bottle”.
“ok then, I have another reusable water, I’ll fill it instead though it’s smaller”
“Na, never mind, if you don’t have a regular-sized water bottle at home I’ll buy one in a convenience store before the test”.
“But why?” I asked him. “This water is icy cold, free of charge and hassle-free?”
“Come on, I can’t be seen with this water bottle in my old school!”
Can any of you relate to this argument? because I absolutely cannot.
He would rather spend 10 extra minutes stopping the car, and spend extra money shopping for a cold small plastic water bottle than be seen with this disgrace of a nerdy bottle.
I know’ it’s only 2$, that’s what he said. by the way, he thought it was extra smart of him to buy a chocolate bar too-though research has shown there is a reverse connection between chocolate and long-lasting energy and focus during long tests, so it ended with more than 2$-the way it always does in convenience stores.
I thought about him a lot that day.
I thought of how lucky I am to be an introvert who doesn’t give a fu*& about what people have to say about any of my choices, how I don’t have to go out with people that don’t make me happy and spend money on apparel and stuff I can do without- just to keep up with society’s standards.
I was worried that should he continue holding this attitude, there will be no way for him to save any money, thus leaving him in the rat race until the “appropriate age for retirement” according to society- close to 70, instead of 20 years before that.
I thought that maybe I was wrong to implement my rigid way of thinking on a young cool person like my son-
Maybe with time, he will change his mind? maybe not all people wait impatiently for early retirement? maybe some people enjoy going to work, meeting other people, socializing and stuff I can’t relate to?
After much contemplation and not much of a choice let’s face it, I concluded it was his decision, since, although surprising for me, he is considered an adult now, and I can fret all I want- it will only get my face wrinkled, nothing else.
No way I am voluntarily inviting wrinkles upon my face, I can tell you that.