Ok- so I already wrote about my body changes -as in I gained weight while in the process of trying to gain muscle.
In case you forgot or happened to skip that iconic post of mine, here is a link.
I wrote that I found out that for me- there are 3 methods of deciding on my current strength-weight situation:
#1:my workout quality:
My workouts since starting the process have improved noticeably.
I can do things I didn’t do before, and find workouts I struggled with before to be much much easier now.
I am so proud of my body, that I actually overcame my aversion of boasting about any accomplishments of mine, and in the spirit of thinking and writing positively -including about myself, simply wrote it down.
No big deal-I can still edit it later.
#2: the way my clothes fit me:
As I wrote- this is a tricky one since I only wear stretchy leggings and other activewear, that can take on quite a lot of body changes without reporting to the authorities.
#3: The way I look. AKA- the type of mirror I use.
I’m sure you are aware of the major differences in the reflections of the images you see in different mirrors.
I don’t mean only the professional ones in malls, that sometimes do me grace and on other occasions- such as in elevators -make me wish I didn’t stop using makeup, I am also referring to the different mirrors you have at home.
I haven’t researched this- maybe its the lighting, the proximity from the image or the height or angle of the hanging- the bottom line is- I have a favorite mirror at home, that always makes me smile when I see my reflection in it, and on other mirrors- well- it depends on the day.
The thing is, when I was a teenager, I had an eating disorder, and this disorder meant that no matter how skinny I was, (and believe me, I was- I weighed less than 110 pounds -I am 5.58 (170 cm) ) I thought I was chubby.
I ate only once a day, and at some point lost my period for some months.
Lucky for me, I came to my senses and started eating like a human being, though I can’t say my relationship with food is the most natural easy-going relationship on earth.
All of this (extremely) personal information is given in order to explain why this third method- checking the way I look in the mirror- is a thing for me.
For years I avoided looking in the mirror, in fear of that old troubled mindset returning and that unhealthy way of perceiving myself raising its ugly head again.
My weight has always been an issue for me- I had my ups and downs but stayed around 62 kilos (136 pounds)- give or take. (preferably take) .
I never went on an intentional plan to gain strength before, and although I did read online beforehand that muscle gain can change your body, I somehow was under the notion that this has nothing to do with me.
I know. I can’t follow my way of thinking either sometimes.
Sure enough, my body did undergo changes, and visible ones too, and I need to deal with that.
The thing is, I can’t even blame the added muscle mass, though some of the change is due to that.
But some of the change is simply due to the fact that I’ve been eating more since I enhanced my exercise regime.
That’s simply the way it is:
The more you put in- you gain more. just like your savings.
Let it be noted that I’ve learned (from reading online-not professionally- I am not a registered anything- mentioned this 10’000 times at least) that enhancing your workout routine cannot be combined with cutting your caloric intake.
I mean- surely it can be done- but it is very unhealthy and unsustainable to behave like that.
From what I’ve read- the opposite is called “bulking”- which means people who do weight training and want to gain muscle quickly and efficiently- many times enhance their caloric intake on purpose, not because “fat will turn to muscle”- because FYI- it does not- those are 2 different processes on our body- but because when wanting to enhance your weight lifting game, you need more energy- and more food- especially carbs=more energy.
I can’t say I have that excuse for my weight gain- I do more cardio- swim and run more than before, and do my usual pilates +yoga twice a week, plus 3 times*40 minutes a week weight training in addition -but I don’t lift heavy weights or anything of the sort.
I do my 40 minutes work out with my 4 pounds ankle weights on, and do my bicep curls using 2*11 pounds weights, all the while having my resistance band pushing me even harder.
The thing is- its winter, running in sub 40 f ( 5 Celcius) can work up quite an appetite, and so can swimming my non-crazy breaststrokes for 3k.
I know this is lame, but the thing is- once I started working out more, I got to think “I deserve” to eat more.
So I do.
This is something in the line of the oh so fashionable “all-in” approach, meaning I basically eat as much as I want.
The thing is I don’t eat junk or unhealthy food.
I only eat homemade vegan protein-packed healthy food- but quite a lot of it.
I already wrote about the puzzling fact that eating a surplus of healthy food will make you gain weight too- when all the while I thought it was magic food that does not count(!).
To sum this up-
yes, I have more strength now.
yes- I look different.
More- what shall I call it? bulky?
I need to get used to it first.
Enjoy- the cooliflower.