I knew this was coming.
It was inevitable.
Major cleaning assignments, that up until my early retirement were classified as : “when I have the time”.
Well, I never really had the time.
I mean I had the time to clean, but not to tackle those nasty hidden spots nobody sees unless you make a point of talking about them.
I never made a point f taking about them.
Why would I?
Nothing interesting there to talk about.
So why am I bothering now?
So that all of you saving pennies towards early retirement , know what’s coming.
Sure- you can ignore all those strange cleaning projects, bit-
I will have you know that people around you have a tendency to let you feel like you are not a respectable citizen if you are not productive.
Since I have no intention of going back to work- not even part-time, not even sitting on a board of something or another boring thing-
I get the look from people.
“So, what do you do all day??”
“Then I eat”
“Then I rest. and read. and eat. again.”
So every once in a while I pull a long-forgotten cleaning project from hell and tackle it, so I can answer confidently”:
“Oh, today? I cleaned the thing!”
And that’s that.
So- what were the projects?
#1: Cleaning behind the desk in my adolescent son’s room.
I know you cant believe me, but I have evidence to show I did get into my son’s room and did move his desk, yes the one the computer is on and cleaned there.
This is the before-
And this is the after.
#2: Painting the same adolescent’s ceiling.
hen I succeeded entering the said adolescent’s room, and moved the desk, I happened to look up in despair, and that’s when I saw his ceiling was covered in what looked like suspicious mold or whatever.
I’m not absolutely sure what it was, but it wasn’t pretty, and it didn’t look very healthy, so my partner and I repainted the ceiling with anti-mold paint.
#3: Of course- the kitchen sink had to get clogged.
I mean- why not?
Just because I am extra careful not to clog it with coffee remnants and oily stuff? just because I clean it only with natural sprays? (vinegar+baking soda+dish soap)?
It clogged anyway, so my partner took out his secret weapon-
You open the sewer and insert this device and start manually turning it (elbow grease at your service) until you unclog the very thing that clogged the system.
Mind you the secret weapon came out only after trying- and failing- the traditional -“opening the plastic cup under the sink and cleaning the disgusting gunk in it” .
The end result:
#4: Cleaning behind the microwave!
I didn’t know it could get this dirty.
I mean, why would it??
My green clean all-purpose cleaner- baking soda+dish soap+ warm water and some vinegar, scrubbing-and voila.
#5: Then I had to clean the inside of the microwave, obviously.
I mean- who leaves a job half done??
Take the glass tray out.
Discover that it has a tendency to let sticky stuff stick to it.
Take a glass of water, squeeze half a lemon- better use a mature (old, I mean old) lemon, (why bother wasting a fresh beautiful one? mature ones are just as good for cleaning purposes), and start the microwave -30 seconds should do it.
wipe the dirt off the whole microwave interior, and place the glass plate back.
#6: clean the ice inside the deep freezer.
I do wish I took a “before” picture” so you could appreciate the glorious work I had done to get the tons of ice out of this.
No- it doesn’t have an anti-freeze thing -that’s the way it is. it has been doing a great job for the past decade and we are not about to replace it just because we need to struggle like animals every few months.
We can do it.
I am retired-
enjoy- the cooliflower.