First of all-what is an introvert?
my definition: a person who prefers spending time at home, quietly doing what he/she likes to do-than going out and meeting people.
I can tell you i never get bored being by myself, but i get bored easily around people, I avoid parties, eating out, going to office meetings, sport groups, or any kind group for that matter.
I read this article :23 signs you are an intovert
and checked all 23 signs.
There were times I thought something was wrong with me- how come everybody loves going out and partying and I will -under peerpressure- go out, but feel exhausted and drained afterwards?
Now I understand there are different kinds of people and different kinds of personalities, and while some people enjoy chit-chatting with new people , having lunch with everyone and water-cooler conversations at the office-(extroverts)-some would much rather have their lunch alone, and while at my job I give speeches and lectures all the time- and never find it intimidating, the thought of making small talk with anyone is a task i need to prepare fo.
So why is being an introvert such a good thing?
#1: you always get enough sleep– you don’t have to run around from place to place in fear of missing something (infamous FOMO) . you know that the best place for you is always being at home. preferably- alone.
#2: when you get enough sleep you are more energized, your skin looks better, you can exercise easily and your overall performance- including at work- is better.
#3: It’s so much easier for you to maintain your frugal manner. when you prefer eating at home, entertaining friends at your place instead of going out, exercising alone instead of in a team , reading or listening to music at home instead of wandering around the mall or going to the movies-well then-your costs are much cheaper .
#4: you have only a few friends-but these are true and loyal friends that go way back with you. I have 3 friends. 2 of them have been my good friends for over 23 years and the third one for over a decade.
#5:You have more time to explore and find out what you really want -you- not anyone else around you or society or the internet . you. you can learn how to cook, read books, watch documentaries, learn new skills, find new exercises online -anything.
Ok but how do you manage to not insult people who invite you to their events?
Since I have always worked in an office, I found over the years that people don’t get offended if you avoid going to all events equally: meaning the important thing is to be very consistent and not attend any event concerning anyone at the office- including boss related events.
Now the key is not to make any exceptions to the rule. never ever. you cannot attend your boss’s daughter’s wedding and then a few weeks later apologise to someone else (who is less able to affect your career) by saying that you don’t attend events as a principle. this is insulting and unfair and will do you much more damage socially.
There are other solutions- such as arriving at the event and disappearing after a short while- no good in my opinion since the hassle of getting dressed up and doing your makeup and driving to the event -and mainly the mental preparation that is needed for me to go out- is too big a task .
there is always the other option- like most people- go to some events- preferably of people they like and people they need in order to promote their own career- and make up excuses for all the others.
I believe strongly in the old and true saying :”you can fool some of the people some of the time-but not all people all the time”.
If you think people at your workplace don’t notice your lame excuses and don’t get offended by both your not attending their event and your belief that they can take your lame excuse than you are wrong.
Here is where my trick is so tricky- not only you don’t have to go to any event- assuming that you desperately don’t like events like me, but people dont get offended because they know that you are an equal non-arriver to everyone’s events. at some point they stop inviting you altogether which is great because it saves you the explaining part.
try it- the cooliflower.